Why does feedback feel so uncomfortable at work?

Feedback at work shouldn’t feel like a personal attack—but often, it does. It stings, it lingers, and it can even shut down growth when it’s not delivered or received well. But there’s a better way to think about it—and a more powerful way to use it.

Let’s look at what really makes feedback uncomfortable and how you can shift your mindset to turn it into a tool for growth.

Feedback Is Rare—And That’s Part of the Problem

One of the main reasons feedback feels uncomfortable is simply because it doesn’t happen often enough. When feedback is scarce, each instance can carry a heavy emotional weight. It can feel like judgment rather than insight.

More frequent feedback normalizes the process. It shifts the culture from one of critique to one of collaboration. When feedback becomes part of how your team operates—not a surprise or a one-off—it loses its sting and gains its value.

Defensiveness Is Natural—But Not Helpful

Let’s face it: even the most seasoned professionals can get defensive. Whether it’s feedback from a peer, a manager, or a team member, it’s common to feel the urge to justify or explain away a perceived criticism.

But here’s the truth: feedback is just information. It’s a perspective. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be the full picture. What matters is that someone is offering their view—what they’re seeing, hearing, and experiencing.

Your job isn’t to agree with everything. Your job is to listen with openness. To receive it with grace. To consider whether there’s something in that message you can apply to improve, grow, or better connect with those around you.

Reframe Feedback as a Gift

When you stop thinking of feedback as judgment and start seeing it as input, everything changes. Instead of feeling attacked, you’ll begin to feel informed.

That doesn’t mean all feedback will feel good. But when you invite it more often, embrace it more fully, and encourage it from others, you position yourself to learn faster and lead better.

This kind of mindset shift doesn’t just help you—it impacts your entire team. When leaders model a healthy relationship with feedback, it creates a ripple effect. Teams get stronger. Trust increases. Conversations become more honest and productive.

Customize the Way You Receive Feedback

If you have a preference for how you like to receive feedback—say, written notes, one-on-one discussions, or scheduled check-ins—share that with your team. Giving others a framework makes it easier for them to support your growth in ways that work for you.

You’re not being high-maintenance—you’re being intentional. And that makes all the difference.

Take Action and Keep Building

Feedback will never be perfect, and that’s okay. You don’t need perfection to grow—you just need perspective. The more you listen, the more you learn. The more you apply, the more you advance.

If you’re ready to build a stronger feedback culture within your team or organization, it might be time to explore coaching or assessments that promote open communication and self-awareness.

Until next time, keep learning and growing.